RUNNING FROM SOMETHING, LOOKING FOR SOMETHING [2017]

This project began with a contemplation on my part with a yearning to situate myself within my own work in a performative aspect. I wanted to explore the effects of being isolated from technology, throwing myself into a world of ethereal landscapes devoid of any intentions.

On this two-week journey circumventing the entire perimeter of Iceland, I have successfully cut myself off from any outside communication shifting all my focus into the act of taking photographs with my 5x4 camera and a Super 8, all the while noting down every aspect of my journey in a diary log. It consists of every thought, every song that triggered an emotion, every escape, every joy and every sadness I've felt along the way. In the sparse landscape, alone, I’ve come to the conclusion that I was running away from something and more importantly I was looking for something else. Both suffer in the silence of the mystery.

Through photography I was able to seek and experience the phenomena of the sublime. The search and journey I’ve undertook became highly therapeutic in the process of making work. The word Sublime, throughout history has been an expression for the unknowable. It is many things ranging from being a judgement, to a feeling or a state of mind perhaps even beyond the reach of human understanding, but it had always been associated to a kind of response to art or nature. Artists have to be willing to go out there, deep into reality, in order to bring the thing back whole.

 
 
 
 
 

[Diary Log]

13:00 A fear of turbulence 13:37 thought of the past, positioned in the future 15:22 I was told to drive through a sandstorm and never stop 19:30 spun out of control 19:52 a snow spiral 20:58 I am too busy staying alive to have my own thoughts, getting used to the stillness. 08:39 Completely white 08:50 Insides freezing, shivering 09:19 Warmth is life, fire is life 09:30 fucking perfection 10:15 I was stuck in beauty so tragic. I am alive, conscious. 10:25 Maybe I’ve felt too much that now there’s nothing left to feel 15:37 Snowblind 17:10 A proposal, stream splits apart, joins back together. 17:20 A confluence 17:40 10am Gare du Nord 20:45 Have yourself a merry little Christmas in the dark, a little more alone, the need to share a holiday with somebody 20:56  the same mistakes, sparkling, Florence 23:04 unique memories, separate and different. Mother, Rainbows, Cassiopeia. 23:46 Slow and steady 23:57 Trouble weighs a ton 06:19 I am at the edge of the world. 06:26 does it ever stop? The reason for dreams. 08:07 I forget them the moment I open my eyes 12:58 I climbed up a cave, sanctuary, safety. I could nest here. 13:13 Ran out of film, Take it all in, maybe. 14:17 dead fish, like the dead sea, beached and still 14:44 the breaks are broken 17:38 Look up and you are surrounded by greatness 17:55 All the people we will never know and never meet. The Process of Movement 19:42 verisimilitude, An ephemeral form of myself / An Empty Car / A drag of a cigarette / Towards the glacial silence / Nothing but noise neath your ground 22:42 pain bothers me, rain, nothing good lasts. 23:57 there it goes into the mud 00:35 I miss everybody, even the virtual embodiments. what will happen? 00:46 This glacial silence / engulfs me / the ash beneath my feet / moves as I move / shifting away from my / thunderous step / I walked a little bit further / to find out if the silence stays / the nearer I get / the smaller I feel / for I am frozen / in my position / Unable to comprehend / that deafening / uncompromising / tone of silence / ringing in my ears. 09:11 Change of plans 11:00 Hydroplane 12:10 No Witnesses 12:35 the landscape engulfs me, nature build up walls and ridges 12:45 I burn up in your atmosphere 12:48 hydroplane 13:35 mountains opened up 19:35 – ice is getting thinner beneath me and you 20:10 stay there 20:53 they disappear forever 22:00 just darkness to keep me company 22:30 I fell in love with you while you were asleep, it never existed 23:00 Sparkling, in the depths 23:37 Aurora 23:51 Before the light storm fades 02:04 cheating 10:20 81725 miles 13:05 one day 14:40 in a sentimental mood 15:00 off balance 16:10 people who don’t exist, never happened 17:49 hole 18:11 day one 19:04 Into the mystic 20:06 we have different lives, apart from each other, spinning on 20:20 Daydreaming. What drives this solitude? Beautiful and tragic, what if the silence becomes too much? 20:27 3847 for entry 20:37 blizzard, I was lucky 21:30 purpose, hibernate, thaw 22:46 translation 00:12 Snow 08:52 are you happy? A fight, some magic 08:53 Subconscious, buried 09:03 Prior knowledge, artifice of me 10:25 “Your eyes betray what burns inside you” 13:35 unequivocally in love with you 14:37 beautiful 15:02 Epilogue, on repeat 15:34 FUCK!! 17:30 Impassable 18:48 slopes 21:10 endless stares 21:47 a river of mercury 08:46 66-degree north. The Process of Power 10:52 I took my time 10:55 have I found the answers / what do I expect / distant memory / never-slowing / passing of time / suppressed / distractions / space to breathe / freedom to feel / to be whole / fairness / I have lost / infatuation / finding my place / before the world stops me / glory / empty vessel / we carry so much with so little / we struggle / we are lost / we may never find the way / to exist / through beauty / through passion   / through love / less fragmented / mend it with gold / appreciate the cracks / sealing the phenomena. 12:50 man-made 12:52 ocean is silent; the birds are not afraid 12:55 Fresh snow 13:05 avalanche wall 17:31 forever. The process of Balance 17:38 I’ve had enough; detrimental / escapism / momentarily / temporalities / I could never live like this 17:44 7 fucking days 17:55 unapologetic / embodied the man in the diary / I should’ve known he dies / eventually / insanity 20:24 broken 21:00 unapologetic landscape / beaten by rain / cold biting into my bones / welcoming the temporalities / beauty at this magnitude can break me. 13:27 broken down, the storm before the storm 17:30 all that you have are words 18:22 I am so sick of the road, the never ending roads 23:10 I lay here thinking about my regrets 17:50 somehow you just linger at the corner of my mind 05:26 impression, curtains drawn 16:37 you are not wrong to be obsessed 14:47 it is quite young in the context of the world 16:25 voyager 16:41 I could cry 08:15 we are troubled by the emptiness 11:04 85470 miles 15:57 – Vastness

22:30 it almost feels like I never left at all.

The world is rather always, someplace else.

 
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